One Direction and other boy bands explained 12-22-14

I watched yet another boy band called One Direction perform two songs on Saturday Night Live. There were 5 members. One of them would sing a few lines, and then another would pick up where the first guy left off. They could harmonize a little when they felt the need. I managed to refrain from screaming, sighing, or throwing my panties at the TV set. A lot of women in the studio audience did not show an equal amount of self restraint. I would like to offer you some insight as to why these heavily tattooed little monkeys are so popular.
One of the requirements seems to be legs that are approximately as big around as my wrist. Stretchy pants help to show off these legs. The next requirement is a distinctive hair style. No Beatle haircuts for these young gents...extra points are assessed if they can comb and gel it until it stands straight up. 
But the real key to their wild popularity seems to be the "lyrics" they croon into their mikes. A quick sample: I don't want to perish like a fading horse. Youth is like diamonds in the sun and diamonds are forever."
Will someone please hand me a barf bag!?!? This crap sells millions!?!? Suddenly I feel very old indeed.
I was able to decipher some more of the lyrics on Saturday. One of these cretins sang "This time I'm ready to run." He further elaborated about sneaking away in the middle of the night...undoubtedly to avoid a run-in with his underage paramours father. This must have a great deal of appeal to any teenage girl who has had a disagreement with a parent...in fact it can't miss! The fact that the lad singing it has a few bucks to run away with probably helps the fantasy along. Judging by the lyrics, the wimp had a few false starts in the past...but this time for sure he's ready. On yet another number, the boys reassure the girl they think she is beautiful even if the girl does not find herself to be attractive. What is it he likes about her so much? Let us post an actual lyric: "The way you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed." That's it? That's how he is going to get her in the sack? Why didn't I think of a line like that when I was in high school? That line is so deep I shall be pondering it's hidden meaning the rest of the day.  To summarize on how best to get the underage girls music or concert dollar: sing about running away, partying the entire night and breaking stuff, tell them that only you can see how beautiful they are, or even though we both know it's a one night stand we can pretend it's love. 
Now do you understand? You're welcome. Home page CLICK HERE.